Misadventures in Translation

This past Friday (1/12), I went out to celebrate the New Year with my Japanese friends Sakamoto, Kei, and Kouichi. We had an excellent time. Even though two guys had to get up at six for work, we were out until three in the morning. Work hard, party hard.

Me, Naomi, Maiko, Takashi, Sakamoto, ?, Kei, and Kouichi.

Kei and Sakamoto.

Naomi, Kei, Me, and Maiko. Naomi was a nice girl, but she was definitely not the sharpest crayon in the box. How can you think Brazil is near the United States?

Sakamoto can still be a sexy man even when making ridiculous faces.

This was the location of the “second party” that we were at until three in the morning. We went through a maze of back-roads to get here. If I were to try to drive there on my own, I do not believe I could find it. Besides the food, the best thing about this place was the excellent Grover book in the back.

Sunday, I went snowboarding for the thousandth time. John (another ALT in the area) and I went to a nice intermediate ski resort. It’s a area for practicing. Occasionally, we would hold some conversation with other people on the ski lifts. We had some intellectual banter such as how delicious strawberry milk is. This ski resort is only 40 minutes away, but we found out some people came all the way from Tokyo. It’s a nice place, but I wouldn’t come all the way from Tokyo to go skiing there.

Me and John at Chateraise Ski Resort.

A nice view of the Yatusgatake mountain range.

Teaching at the elementary school is awesome. The kids are super energetic. Plus, I get to hear crazy things. Kids coming up to me and saying, “Come on, baby,” “Erotic,” and “OH, BABY,” makes my day a brighter day. With the youngest students, I just play simple games such as the Hokey Pokey…

Karate or Hokey Pokey Big Fever? The Big Fever was an addition by one of the teachers. I like Hokey Pokey Big Fever better than the plain old Hokey Pokey.

Does it matter if they do what I say? Nah. As long as they have fun.

I think that somewhere in my contract it says that I must occasionally be a substitute jungle gym. I feel like Ah-nuld in Kindergarten Cop.

This is by far my favorite picture from Japan. It’s how I feel some days.

Lately, I’ve been watching a lot more television. The other day, there was a program talking about the incidences of cancer in Japan. It talked about how America has had two consecutive years of lower cancer rates. The big reasons were increased screening and early detection. But the program went on to attribute some of the decline to Americans consuming more vegetables. This surprised me since the American waistline is definitely not indicative of a diet high in vegetables. Then, there was another surprise. Japanese consumption of vegetables has been in major decline. Since vegetables have many antioxidants that are helpful in preventing cancer, the show went on to describe the cancer fighting abilities of vegetables with some cute animations. Japan doesn’t have to worry, though. I think all the green tea makes up for it.

While I’m talking about medicine, according to this article, http://www.cogme.gov/report16.htm#sumrec, it looks like I’m going to be pretty busy when I graduate medical school. By 2020, the supply of doctors will be outstripped by demand. There are already a shortage of doctors in many areas. America’s increasing population and the time it takes to train a physician will make things very difficult. The shortage of doctors will probably push the cost of medical care even higher. Things could be a little rough for a while in the future.

I believe I’m addicted to snowboarding. I went snowboarding yesterday, I’m going again tomorrow, I’m night snowboarding again next week, and I’m spending 2 days up at Hakuba, Nagano snowboarding. I’ve got to get in top form for the Winter Olympics

Next month, I’ll be heading the Sapporo Snow Festival in Hokkaido. I’ll fly up to Sapporo from Tokyo and spend four days up there. I’ll get to see some awesome snow sculptures, try some awesome food, and see some awesome sites. Oh yeah. I’ll go snowboarding too.

Now, for your Japanese moment of zen:

A few people stumble upon my site after searching for various topics about Japan. There is a common theme, though.

• getting a japanese girlfriend
• japanese girls
• japanese girlfriend
• japanese girlfriend fantasy
• nude sexy girls
• i want a 13 year-old japanese girlfriend

That last one has been entered more than once. This goes out to the weirdo who stumbled upon my site by searching for “how to get a 13 year-old Japanese girlfriend.”

It’s Izumi Asuka! It’s Japan”s number one under 15 thong model! You want more you sick freaks? http://www.izumiasuka.com/ Too bad she’s not even that cute. Before you start flipping out, these girls are not nude in the magazines. Of course dirty old men purchase these magazines, but it does not mean Japan is full of pedophilic perverts as some people like to imagine. This is just a major difference between Japan and the West. I saw this girl and her mom sitting on some serious round table discussion the other day. I never saw anyone berate them. However, I hope that you don’t feel Japan has a massive Lolita complex. Maybe it’s too late to prevent that.

Wait. You’re still not satisfied? Here’s a video. Unless your workplace allows you to look at a 14 year-old Japanese girl wearing a thong bikini, then I wouldn’t suggest watching it. I think the soundtrack to the video is awesome, though.

If you can’t see the video, click here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEQYfEukb1k

I think I need to take a long shower.